Dear son, my precious child, every man you see wearing a doo-rag is not a pirate, and please stop yelling "Hey, Jack" to every man you see with a beard. He isn't related to the Robertsons. Sincerely, the Mommy
When I was a young child, my parents were fans of the show "Good Times," and JJ was my hero. Seriously, who didn't like that character? I even wanted a bucket hat because he wore one. One day, while eating with my parents at Long John Silver's on Riverside Drive in Clarksville, a gentleman entered the restaurant and my toddler heart just knew it was JJ. I wanted to talk to JJ, and excitedly exclaimed to my parents, "It's JJ!" My parents were mortified, and did their best to shut me up. I still insisted it was JJ.
Throughout my childhood, my mother hexed me repeatedly and insured me that I would have a child like me. I know there has to be a doll in my image with roots laid on it, hidden in a secret compartment in her house. This hex has slapped me two fold! RJ's obsession is pirates and anyone he thinks is a Robertson from the show Duck Dynasty. A few months ago, RJ sat with me in the waiting room of the clinic and in walked a gentleman who favored Si Robertson, RJ's favorite bearded man. I could NOT keep him away from him. RJ escaped my grasp and quickly walked by the man, whispering, "Hey, Jack!" The gentleman didn't notice. I grabbed my son and sat down. Again, he escaped and grabbed the man's bottle of water, looked at him and said, "Hey, Jack!" For a moment, I thought about pretending he didn't belong to me, but impulse pushed me to fetch my child, apologizing as I went back to my seat. Fortunately, the gentleman found the adoration funny. You could have toasted marshmallows on my beaming, red face. At my cousin Adam's wedding, RJ thought a guest was Willie Robertson, and coaxed my Aunt Dixie into taking him to see the "Hey Jack." RJ was awestruck and the kind gentleman played along. I now try to avoid bearded men if I have my son with me!
A few days ago, we passed a house where men were installing windows. Two of the men were wearing doo-rags. He asked what those pirates were doing and fortunately, rolled up windows prevented them from hearing, "ARRRGGG," as we drove past. He has already insisted that for Halloween, he is going to be Hook and I have to be Smee. Don't bet on that one!
My one JJ incident has me plagued! Well played, Mom. Well played!